The forties are freaky and fascinating!
As I move through this decade, I am finding it to be the most challenging and yet very freeing phase of life.
Everything you were taught, knowingly or unknowingly, everything that you were told downstream of societal preaching, slowly starts to show cracks.
For me personally, perhaps the only thing that remains a solid foundation is some core values taught by my parents, which still serve as a guiding light.
The rest, you start questioning everything!
You have now lived long enough to verify the lies through your own real-life experiences.
The truth becomes your highest pursuit.
The very first layer of peeling an onion begins in the forties.
You often oscillate between enthusiasm and nihilism. Between these two extremes, the third door of “clarity” opens!
You start seeing things, people, and situations as they are, rather than what you think they are.
At the same time, you are faced with competing priorities. Kids are growing, parents have grown too old and need your love and attention—often unspoken. Your career is reaching a plateau, and your inner investor suddenly wakes up as the word “retirement” is added to your vocabulary.
You start to see the matrix, looking for an exit!
Previously, you were peripherally aware of your limited time on earth. Now, you become acutely aware of it.
People tell you life begins at forty, but your joints are telling a different story!
Your personal identity starts to soften. You seem to have fewer and fewer opinions about people, events, and life situations. Relationship insecurities vanish. You already know who stayed and who left. The time gives depth that novelty cannot fake!
You start becoming lighter and more lenient.
You start seeing things through a telescopic lens rather than a microscopic one. You switch from high time preference to low time preference while making important decisions.
You start moving more and more towards your most authentic self.
But at the same time, you have to be extremely vigilant, because arrogance can often disguise itself as authenticity.
Everything you have learned over the years, you begin to unlearn.
The silence beckons.
The great unlearning begins.
Good post and observation!
Gita says:
Arjun dropped his bow and also questioned, whether what he was doing is the right thing or not in the war fighting against his own people?
Krishna says: why are you questioning when I am here and these are not your people (even though they were his relatives and closer allies with whom he had grown up with- directly inferring to your point of clarity of people, situations etc in your post), he goes further to add- you keep doing your Dharma, I will take care of the future and result for you!
These are powerful words!
In today’s world – it has become even harder to let go the worries of what will my retirement balance look like, how will my kids grow up, etc.
But the nirvana comes when we let go of these worries in the present and only focus on our dharma (duty) and do that fully to ability.
My 2 cents